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My Partner Doesn’t Want Couples Counseling But I Do: The Cause

couples-counseling 27 Aug 2018

BY: Sherman Counseling

Blog / Couples Counseling

You want couples counseling. Your partner doesn’t. This is an all-too-common occurrence in relationships. If you’re struggling to get your partner to see the benefits, there are some techniques you can use to convince him or her. Read on to learn how to convince your partner to get couples counseling.

Find out Why Your Partner Doesn’t Want Couples Counseling

In most cases, a person doesn’t want to go through couples counseling because he or she has a flawed view of the process. Get to the root of the issue, and you may be able to persuade your spouse by eliminating the stigma. Here are some examples:

  • We don’t need couples counseling. We just need time. Couples counseling will not hinder any progress you make on your own. It will make that progress go a lot faster. Many couples go through relationship therapy even if they are not having problems because they want to prevent issues from occurring in the future.
  • You don’t listen to me now. You won’t listen to me in therapy. Your couples counselor will help you establish a healthy flow of communication. You will both learn how to actively listen, how to voice your opinion, and how to discuss your issues without arguing.
  • Therapy is just a gimmick. This is simply not the case. Couples counselors have years of specialized training in relationship building and conflict resolution. They will recommend techniques based on evidence and experience.
  • Your therapist will be on your side. Couples counselors are completely unbiased. They will not favor one of you over the other. The goal of couples counseling is to find solutions that work for your relationship as a whole, not one of you individually. You both benefit from the process.
  • We’re never going to be able to fix this. Couples counselors work with couples after major life transitions, including job loss, infidelity, grief, divorce, and more. There are countless success stories in the most unlikely of circumstances. If they can get through it, so can you.
  • Counseling is a waste of money. You might be surprised by how affordable couples counseling can be. Mental healthcare is covered under most health insurance programs, so all you have is a small copay. You can find out about the costs before your first appointment so you can be fully informed.

Talk to your partner about his or her apprehension. Is it nerves, doubt, confusion…? Once you know why your partner does not want couples counseling, you have a better idea of how to persuade him or her.

Continue to Part 2

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